Self-Care When Your Child Has Cancer

Self-Care when your child has cancer
Photo by Kaylee Garrett on unsplash

Being a parent is already an incredibly demanding role, and when your child has cancer, your world can become an unimaginable tidal wave.  While your child’s well-being is unquestionably your highest priority, it’s just as important to take care of yourself. Granted, self-care when your child has cancer isn’t easy when all your energy and attention is focused on your child. But it’s an absolute necessity.  It’s important because in order to offer your child the best possible care, you need to be healthy and well yourself, both physically and emotionally.

The Importance of Self-Care When Your Child Has Cancer

Caring for a child with cancer is both physically and emotionally exhausting. From hospital stays to managing treatment schedules, the demands you face can feel overwhelming. Self-care practices, like proper nutrition, exercise, and sleep, are all important for maintaining your physical well-being.  And just as important are emotional self-care practices like counseling, meditation, and relaxation techniques. These practices can empower you to manage your emotional rollercoaster and stay strong for your child.

Self-care is Crucial During Stressful and Difficult Times

Self-care helps us manage stress, prevent burnout, and maintain emotional resilience. And it’s crucial during turbulent and stressful times. Here are a few reasons why:

  1. Emotional Resilience: Some of the most common reactions to hearing a child’s cancer diagnosis are shock, fear, grief, anger, sadness, and anxiety. These are all natural responses to such a devastating diagnosis, and it’s crucial to recognize and validate these emotions.
  2. Physical Health: Neglecting your own health can have dire consequences for both you and your child. You need to stay healthy to support your child effectively. 
  3. Quality Care: When you are well-rested and emotionally balanced, you can provide better care for your child. Your well-being affects your child’s well-being. Remember, you can’t effectively help or support others if you are emotionally or physically depleted yourself.

Accept Help and Build a Support System for Self-Care When Your Child Has Cancer

It takes a village to raise a child, and even more so when your child has cancer. One of the most significant sources of strength during this difficult time is the support you receive from family, friends, and your child’s medical team. Many people want to help but may not know how, so openly communicate your needs. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help with practical things, like meal preparation or childcare. Relying on family, friends, and a support network can help alleviate some of the burdens you carry and provide emotional support during this challenging time.  

It can also be extremely helpful to connect with support groups for parents of children with cancer. Many pediatric oncology hospitals offer support groups, and sharing your experience with others who understand can be incredibly comforting. Don’t be afraid to seek professional help for your own mental health. A therapist, psychologist, or counselor can provide valuable strategies and tools for coping with the stress and anxiety associated with a child’s cancer diagnosis.

Self-care encourages you to express your emotions and find healthy ways to cope. Journaling, talking with a therapist, or engaging in support groups can help you process your feelings, whether it’s fear, anger, sadness, or frustration. Acknowledging and addressing these emotions is vital for your mental health.

Physical Health and Emotional Resilience

Prioritizing and maintaining your physical and emotional health can help you stay strong. Here are some tips for things you can do to help you stay physically and emotionally resilient:

  1. Prioritize Sleep: Lack of sleep can impact your mental and physical health so make sure you get adequate rest. Grab it wherever and whenever you can and don’t feel guilty about taking a nap. You may want to consider taking turns with a partner or family member to ensure you both get enough rest.
  2. Practice Mindfulness and Stress Reduction: The stress of caring for a child with cancer can cloud your judgement and affect your mental clarity. Self-care practices like mindfulness, meditation, yoga, and deep breathing exercises can help you stay present and think more clearly. 
  3. Prioritize Nutrition and Exercise: Maintaining a healthy diet, staying hydrated and engaging in regular physical activity can help you stay strong, both mentally and physically.  Food might not seem important now and it’s tempting to grab whatever’s easiest. But a good diet is always important for your health and for making sure that you have energy.

Self-Care Tips for Parents and Caregivers

There are many strategies you can use to help facilitate self-care when your child has cancer. Here are some practical tips which can help you navigate this challenging journey with strength and resilience.

  1. Stay Informed and Advocate for Your Child:  Knowledge is empowering and being informed can help alleviate some of your anxiety. Learn about your child’s condition, treatments, and potential outcomes.  Ask questions and advocate for your child’s best interests. Being proactive in your child’s care can provide a sense of control in a situation where so much is beyond your control.
  2. Set Boundaries: It’s okay to say no. Understand your limits and don’t overextend yourself with additional commitments or responsibilities.
  3. Give Yourself a Break to Prevent Burnout: Parents often tend to put their children’s needs above their own, especially when dealing with a child’s life-threating illness. However, neglecting self-care can lead to parental burnout, which ultimately harms both you and your child. Your well-being is crucial to your child’s care. So, take regular breaks from the hospital or treatment center to recharge, rejuvenate and obtain much-needed relief. If possible, establish a schedule with your partner or other family members to ensure that you all have time for a respite. Even a few hours of relaxation can rejuvenate you and help you better support your child.
  4. Keep a Journal: Documenting your thoughts and experiences in a journal can help make sense of things and clear your mind.  It can help you process your emotions and track your child’s progress and treatment, making it easier to discuss your child’s medical condition with the healthcare team.

Other Self-Care Things You can do for You and Your Child

  • Create Moments of Happiness and Laugh:  At first this might be difficult, but finding the funny side of things is surprisingly important in tough situations. Creating moments of happiness can uplift spirits and provide a much-needed break from the medical routines. Celebrate small victories, milestones, holidays, and everyday joys with your child. These moments can be a source of strength and motivation for both of you.
  • Reclaim a Sense of Normalcy: While life may revolve around hospital visits and treatment schedules, try to maintain a sense of normalcy in your family’s life.  Doing this can provide a source of comfort and relief for both you and your child. Nurture your interests and continue to engage in activities you enjoy, even if it’s just for a short time each day. It’s essential to have moments of normalcy and pleasure.
  • Bring Something to do at the Hospital:  Waiting is easier for both you and your child if you each have something to fill the time. Reading, doing crossword puzzles, or even a work or school assignment will help pass the time. Laptops and tablets like the ones Mikey’s Way distributes are excellent for this purpose.

Self-Care When Your Child Has Cancer is a Lifeline

Caring for a child with cancer is an unimaginable challenge. However, remember that self-care when your child has cancer is not a luxury but a lifeline. By prioritizing your physical and emotional well-being, you are better equipped to support your child throughout their cancer journey. Seeking help, building a support network, and practicing self-compassion are all vital aspects of self-care. It’s not a selfish act, but an act of love, strength, and resilience that will help you face this difficult path with your child. Your well-being is essential for your child’s well-being, and together, you can navigate this challenging journey.