Responding to Sibling’s Cancer Diagnosis

responding to siblings cancer diagnosis

When a child is diagnosed with cancer, not only is the patient’s life turned upside down but so are the lives of family members.  Consequently, siblings may feel a range of emotions such as fear, anger, sadness, anxiety, jealousy, or guilt as they are responding to their sibling’s cancer diagnosis. Navigating these emotions and adjusting to the changes brought about by their sibling’s illness can be particularly challenging.  And these responses will alter as they continue to adjust to the ongoing changes cancer brings.

It’s also important to realize that each child may respond differently to their sibling’s diagnosis.  As a matter of fact, many siblings experience positive changes. According to Cancer.Net, “And while there may be challenges, at the same time, many children respond to a sibling with cancer with enormous love, care, and support. Parents often see other, positive changes in siblings of a child with cancer, including more empathy and compassion, greater self-esteem, closer relationships with siblings and parents, and greater insight into the things that really matter.”

 Regardless of how children are responding to their sibling’s cancer diagnosis, supporting their emotional and physical well-being during this difficult time is paramount.

Open Communication

Supporting siblings during this challenging time involves a thoughtful and holistic approach. Begin by encouraging them to express their feelings, concerns, and questions in a nonjudgmental environment. Offer age appropriate, honest, and accurate answers. And remember, if you’re not sure of the answer, it’s okay to say you don’t know and will try to find the answer. Read more about talking with your child, and talking with your teen about cancer.  

Quality Time and Maintaining Normalcy for Children Responding to Sibling’s Cancer Diagnosis

While family and friends are understandably focusing their attention on the child with cancer, it’s also important to spend time with their siblings. Spending one-on-one time with them, even in small amounts, will help them feel valued, loved, and supported. This time together can also help reinforce the importance of their role in the family structure.

Spending quality time and maintaining normalcy goes hand-in-hand in helping siblings cope. While there will be necessary adjustments, maintaining familiar activities and routines can provide stability and comfort for siblings. Celebrate birthdays, holidays, and other special occasions as a family, emphasizing the continuation of traditions.  Reassuring them that they are equally loved and maintaining normalcy can give children a sense of security which in turn can help them cope better with stressful circumstances.

Provide Respite for Children Responding to Sibling’s Cancer Diagnosis

Siblings may benefit from occasional breaks and opportunities for respite. Encourage them to do things they enjoy and reassure them that it’s ok to have fun. For instance, playdates, sleepovers, sports activities, and school events provide moments of normalcy outside the context of their sibling’s illness.  These instances of respite can be rejuvenating for them.

Connect with Support Services

If, despite your efforts, your healthy children are still struggling, it might be helpful for them to talk with a mental healthcare provider experienced in working with siblings. They can offer a safe and supportive environment where they can discuss their emotions and develop coping strategies. Many hospitals and organizations offer programs or support groups that cater to the unique needs of healthy siblings. Professional counseling services or support groups for siblings can be valuable resources for emotional well-being, allowing them to share their experience with others facing similar challenges.

Reassure Siblings and Acknowledge Their Feelings

Siblings may experience a variety of feelings related to their brother or sister’s cancer diagnosis. They may feel guilt, jealousy, worry or anger about the attention their sibling is receiving. In addition, they may be faced with disruption in their usual activities and routines due to their parents’ focus on their sibling’s medical needs. Siblings can certainly feel particularly vulnerable during this time. Reassure them that they are equally loved and that their needs will continue to be taken care of. Encourage open conversation and give them a chance to talk about their feelings. Acknowledge their feelings and reassure them that their emotions are normal and valid.

Some children won’t want to verbalize their feelings, and that’s okay.  Help them find another way to express themselves.  Writing in a journal, listening to or playing music, art or physical activity are all good examples of healthy outlets of expression.

Supporting Children Responding to Their Sibling’s Cancer Diagnosis

Supporting children when their sibling has cancer requires a combination of understanding, communication, and emotional support. By addressing their unique needs and ensuring they feel heard and valued, you can help siblings navigate this challenging time with resilience and compassion.

Additional Reading Sources